How The Sports Media Should Have Covered College Football During The Pandemic

For the entirety of this pandemic, a large section of America has either marginalized or completely ignored the severity of Covid-19.  Whether it be through propaganda or political belief or whatever the cause, America was and remains incredibly flat footed in addressing the needs of society as we are dead last in the entire world in handling it.

I believe a big part of the recent spike comes from the culture of sports, and specifically college football.  College football is the holy grail of sport in the South and much of America.  As one of the biggest cultural institutions in the country, they were going to go about their seasons like the virus was a nuisance and not a deadly disease that could wreck our entire health care system and lead to the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people.

I believe the sports media at large has dropped the ball on responsible reporting and holding the university presidents, athletic directors, and coaches accountable for the continued spread of the novel virus.

When the pandemic began, the sports world moved quickly to address safety concerns.  The NBA, NHL, as well as the NCAA shut down in March of 2020.  The MLB would have a delayed start and the NBA and NHL would return to play in "bubbles." 

Of all the sports, the NHL and NBA's "bubbles" worked best.  With almost a zero rate of infections once players were in the bubble, both hockey and basketball were rightly celebrated as models for the current environment.  Baseball however barely got their season started and was consistently mired by a bitter back and forth between labor and management, with multiple stars and players questioning whether or not to have a season without a bubble, and the virus repeatedly infected players.

Fittingly, at the end, third baseman Justin Turner, who would test positive the day of winning the World Championship with the LA Dodgers, would be told he needed to go into immediate quarantine so that he didn't spread the new highly infectious novel virus with no cure, and as of yet, no vaccine, to anyone else. 

He complied until he simply didn't care anymore. As he would later describe, he was overcome with emotion in winning.  He would later apologize days later, understanding he not only put his teammates at risk, but unintentionally, every teammates' family at the end of the season.

Sure, I guess they "tried" to do the right thing, but it was always going to be by their rules.  The professional leagues are run by billionaires who care more about money more than anything else.  The illusion that any of this is for the benefit of society writ-large and not for the indulgences of those in the owner class has been paramount to ignoring the dangers of the virus.  While certainly professional sports deserves its fair share of criticism, no one should be more ashamed of their actions than the NCAA, the schools who led the charge for a football season, and the media who let it happen.

College athletics are supposedly about amateurism and education, giving opportunity to those athletic geniuses to come to a school and potentially develop other talents and become working professionals if their opportunities to play in the NFL or NBA becomes sidelined.  That is what the public is generally sold by the NCAA and its institutions.  A win-win scenario that benefits both school and student-athlete.

That is a fantasy and everyone seems to admit as much.

In reality, in most power house programs, student athletes are treated like employees, their scholarships 1 year renewable contracts that can be taken away with the discretion of coaches and administrators.  They are expected to perform for the school, drive up revenue and publicity, and get donors to get out their wallets and STAY OUT OF TROUBLE.

The pressure being put on these 17-24 year-old young men, by coaching staff making millions of dollars and in control to a large degree of their futures, is completely different than the pressure being put on a kid that comes from a family with enough wealth to comfortably invest in sending a kid to school to study at his/her own pace.

As early August approached, many scientists stressed that this would be the time to really make sure we continue to do the right things, to not let our guard down, and to treat this pandemic seriously, even with the possibility of a vaccine coming sooner rather than later.  To continue to stress mask wearing as well as washing of hands.  They were recommending we not see our parents and friends and family for the holidays, and reducing human contact and shared air-space as much as possible.

Football, a sport requiring 22 people on the field at a time, often in close proximity to one another, was the worst possible sport to try and coordinate effectively.  Teams and coaches would have to choose between having great practices with little alteration and risk the consequences of the disease, or have incredibly altered practices that might affect the play on a given Saturday.  Would you choose a method carrying more risk to spread the virus such as an in-person skill technique demonstrations?  How long would you spend with players to ensure proper techniques and methods are used? 

The players would, essentially, be asked to save the school from a financial hardship and be the ambassadors of the University during a pandemic. Risking their health, as well as the health of people they know, with the trade-off being you get to play football this year, potentially giving you a chance to improve your draft-stock and/or accomplish goals such as a championship or a trophy. 

Policy changes were made to help make it possible for opt-outs and potential extra years of eligibility, but only a few of the elite prospective pro players and those that were alerted to high risk medical conditions would end up sitting out.  The bulk of the players, predictably, wanted to play the game that to them felt normal.  If they got sick, they promised to isolate.  They all promised they would keep doing as best they could to keep each other and their communities safe.

One could hardly fault them.  I certainly won't.

But the universities HAD to know, despite all the their best intentions, about the potential of local hospitals being potentially overrun, people within their communities, friends and loved ones might be dying to this grim disease, all while playing a game that fosters its very spread. 

And so too did the sports journalists.

As the numbers in August remained high, The Big Ten would be the first major football conference to end its season, stating quite clearly that the science and data that they looked at was not worth risking so much life for a momentary experience.  Yes, they would lose money.  No, it's not what anyone wanted.  They believed that this was the right decision.  The Pac-12 would do the same soon after, and many were waiting on the schools from the SEC, ACC, and Big 12 to follow suit.

Only they didn't.

The SEC, ACC, and Big 12 as well as a host of smaller schools in more conservative states looked at the same data and decided it would be worth playing, worth risking lives and exploiting the potential absence of two power conferences as they could dominate the airwaves, collect television money, and give the appearance that they did things better in their region than the Big Ten or Pac 12.

So, they went ahead and played, and while certainly fans from the south were overjoyed, the media that would be covering those games, and would have content to for it's audiences, were overjoyed as well.

ESPN's College Game Day crew, specifically SEC alumnus Rece Davis, David Pollack and Paul Finebaum excoriated the decision for the Big Ten not to play.  They made it seem as though the Big Ten must be impotent or uncaring if the SEC could pull this off and the Big Ten couldn't.  In the dark recesses of the web there became bizarre conspiracy theories that the Big Ten and Pac-12 were doing this to somehow hurt Donald Trump.  These theories even breached the mainstream on occasion finding its way into local radio shows and podcasts.

The Big Ten and Pac-12 were now on the defensive.  If they held on that they were not going to play, and the schools from the other conferences did, they would be at a decided disadvantage in terms of recruiting, donors, and fans in at least the short-term.

The sports media and fans crushed the Big Ten for erring on the side of safety, the schools like Clemson, Alabama and in LSU's case celebrated for having the virus infect their kids, and have them

come back and not being deterred.  There was open dissent within the conference, as football coaches, whose players and rabid fan bases absolutely preferred a season, spoke up about how they felt this decision might not be the right one.

This was at a time where we were at a bit of a crossroads.  The virus was seeming staying low, at roughly 30k new cases per day, and approaching the low 10k case mark per day average that was the goal of Coronavirus task force. 

But on our television, the sports media had decided for us that sports and our escapism to feel good, would be more important than lives lost to the continued spread.  When Notre Dame upset Clemson, and a sizable student crowd rushed the field, it set up conditions for an obvious spreading event, and promoted a message that the virus was not serious.

Of course the kids could be forgiven, but what about the administrations and the journalists that covered it?  They went about it all with kid gloves. 

Notre Dame was "disappointed" by the rushing of the field by the student body, but it was certainly rang as one of the most hallow rebuke's in history, bearing in mind that the whole school saw its President flagrantly flout the rules at the swearing in of Amy Coney Barrett just a month earlier.  The media was largely quiet on the issue.  A tweet here or there, and an article briefly mentioning the potential spread, but mostly, it was what it was, and there was nothing that could be done.

By and large, the disease and the season is simply treated like a relatively glum idea by the sports media rather than a serious threat to life.  The announcers regularly comment about missing the fans and how bummed out they are, begrudgingly admitting that limiting seat capacity or not admitting fans is something they "have to do".

This allows the audience to not think of the disease anymore as the killer that it is, but a temporary setback for most that will only affect those that are weak.  In fact, the more it seemed football players kept playing, kept getting sick, and kept staying alive (for the most part) the more it seemed that the virus and the daily death toll must not be that big a deal. 

This escapism is different from reading a book, video chatting, texting, watching movies or television, playing video games, exercising alone or being socially distanced outdoors.

This escapism involves watching an activity of 18-22 young people play a game that actively spreads the disease, that actively will put people into hospitals and under the care of medical professionals at a time when they need everyone to be on their best behavior.

This escapism allows us to tolerate the system, it allows us to normalize something that is not normal.  It allows us to feel like, if 4,000 or 5,000 people die to the pandemic on the day my team wins a National Championship, in fact, even if it becomes clear our actions and ideas fostered its spread, it will still be worth it. 

Dabo Swinney ranked Ohio State 11th in his rankings, strictly on the penalty of not playing games due to Covid.  The message couldn't be clearer.  Dabo pushed his team to play through the pandemic as often as possible to get wins and games that would put them in the best possible position to win the Championship.  He couldn't care less about the disease and it couldn't be more obvious.  He cares about winning and nothing else.

Rather than calling out the heinous level of disrespect towards the virus and those trying to protect society from it, the media largely viewed Dabo's comments as a slight against Ohio State or the Big Ten.  They are missing the bigger and more important picture.

Covid-19 hasn't gone away.  Even though a vaccine is coming, even if your political candidate won or lost, Covid-19 is still here.  We need to be at our most vigilant right now.  We need to be at our most honest with each other right now.  And the best people to deliver that message right now need to be the people who are paid to speak truth to power.  

 

Even if they cover an escapist sport like college football.

I Was Wrong. Stop Playing Football

I wrote earlier this year in support of playing a college football season if they could adequately keep the player, coaches and families safe.  If they could contain the novel virus and limit the exposure to the kids and staff, then it would be worth it.  

I believed that even if it took no fans, if it took extreme precautions, if it took doing everything differently, if just for this year, and they believed the virus could be controlled, then I was for it.

That was before the Big Ten and Pac-12 decided against playing this season and before the SEC, ACC, and Big 12 said that they would. 

I didn't even bother with addressing the NFL, which I assumed would put on its show come hell or highwater.

The resulting seasons have been a disaster and a referendum on the decisions to have a season.

The actual play from all over the country has been terrible, with only a few teams actually having enough continuity to play consistently well on both sides of the ball.  Positive, as well as false-positive tests, are decimating rosters and practice schedules.

All while infections continue to rise to the highest point in the pandemic's history.

Football has been an abject failure in containing the disease.

More egregious, at this point, they are complicit in actively participating in its spread if they continue to travel to various sites throughout the country.  Each time a team travels they will contact hotel workers, bus drivers, medical personnel, then participate with another team that has been doing the same thing and then going home.

It seemed inevitable to me that this was going to happen as the virus continued to spread throughout the country, especially in places like Florida, Texas and a whole host of other areas in the South where the general public and leadership from the top did not take the virus seriously.

We are averaging roughly 1,000 deaths a day to Covid-19, with that number expected to sky rocket as it's a lagging indicator.  The case numbers will almost assuredly spike post Thanksgiving weekend where despite warnings, travel for the holiday remained high.

I think at this point, with a month left to go, the people truly in charge, the presidents of the Universities, the ownership in the league; they need to make decisions that benefit all of us and not just their pocket books.

Cases are exploding across the football landscape at this point.  Every single pro-team has had positive cases.  Nearly every college team can say the same.  The risk is not just to the players, coaches and staff who are relatively low risk, but that they could then easily foster spread within their communities either unknowingly or unwittingly. 

I have faithfully watched every Penn State game this year and while it is a fun distraction for me, a fan, I know deep down that every game is another opportunity for a super spreader where one team who might have been asymptomatic passes it to another.  Anther chance for someone to get sick, not know it, and spread it to someone else who might be much more vulnerable.

And for what at this point?  What will this college football season even add up to with all the missed games and lack of uniformity? 

Should the conferences that decided to play first while ignoring the deaths and infections get credit for playing with a sick team that they can't adequately test for?  Should the conferences that actually tried to stop the spread be penalized?

How on earth would you ever make a fair and equitable decision about a playoff?

I watched another team I follow win a championship this year.  I'm a big Lakers fan, and I enjoyed seeing them win.  It felt nice.  It felt good.  But it didn't feel like the others.

And that's how I felt about watching Penn State beat Michigan.

Sure I loved it.  It was great to see the running attack hit hard.  It was great to watch Sean Clifford throw darts to Parker Washington and Johan Dotson.  I loved watching the guys battle back from adversity and show that they absolutely capable in a competitive setting.  I'm sure every player and coach loved it too.

But at this point in time, in this particular year, you see the death toll and the stress it is putting on the poorest communities and you know that the model to emulate is not one where you pretend that the virus doesn't exist and that you can simply 'play through it'.

What we will have in America over the next month if football continues, will be essentially roaming bioweapons, traveling from college town to college town, and city to city infecting other players at first, and then spreading to coaches, training staff, and so on.  

The latest projections has the United States passing 300,000 deaths by the middle of December, and potentially 400,000 just 15 days later.

Imagine that the Championship game goes on, and a hideous broken leg injury or a spinal or head injury occurs.  Now what hospital does that student-athlete go to?  What will the care be?  Will the care for someone else suffer because now resources must be used for the athlete? 

This is a crisis of the highest magnitude, and it is time for leadership at the highest levels to take charge.

Stop the season, and concentrate on helping each other through what will likely be the worst winter of our lives.




 

Building a Basement. Building Hope.

I hated shop class as a kid.

First, I hated the fractions.  The class always seemed to start with the ruler and measurements.  So before even using something like a circular saw or hammer and nails, it would always start with some math.

I was never a math guy.

Then came the fact that there were all the saws and power tools.  While the idea of operating some fun power tools was exciting, it was outweighed by the idea of mangling my hands and fingers in a shop class accident.

So when it finally came time for me to start to tackle our first major house project, a basement remodel, I wasn't exactly sure where to start.

The quarantine had given me time to do the project. Of that, I had little doubt.  The only question would be if I possessed enough patience and skill to actually follow through with the project.  After attempting to prime and sand on my own, I saw the fear in my wife's face, and decided to go with a hired hand.

I got a few quotes, some from word of mouth recommendations, others from the internet.  In the end we ended up going with LNG Remodeling after considering all of our options.

While the economic reasons were solid (they ended up being competitively priced somewhere in the middle of most of the quotes I received), the reason we ended up going with Liam and his team was a feeling of trust.  Trust that they would treat our job, small as it might be, with just as much care and personal attention as anything in their own homes.

The first morning of the job, Liam arrived with his team of Chris and Bill.  Being that I had some extra time to pop in from time to time, I asked if I could chip in.  They laughed and agreed to let me handle some of the sanding and later offered to let me help out with the floor assembly.

Now...while I didn't take them up on the latter part, more on that in a moment, I want to share what it meant for me to have two complete strangers work in your home.

I wanted to make an effort to bond, to get to know what the people working on my home were all about.

First I opened up to Liam a little bit about myself.  About growing up in State College, getting my degree in communication, and a little bit about being currently furloughed.

I wanted to know if he would be willing to help me out with a project by being willing to just talk a bit about himself and his current work and situation.

He was refreshingly open.  Growing up in western Pennsylvania, his father worked in the FBI and how he, too, had graduated from Penn State with a degree in engineering.  He had always had a knack for numbers and this steered him towards a career based in financial success.

However, he felt that that while he was doing the things society may have expected of him, he didn't find the experience as rewarding as he had hoped.

So Liam decided to go back to school, get his own MBA and control the projects and direction of his life, beginning with a community first approach.  

"I wanted to do projects with the people around me.  I wanted to build up areas locally."

To me, this backed my own values.  I really believe, at this point in time in America, we desperately needed to talk to our neighbors, and work hard within our communities to rebuild trust and empathy.  To hear that the team I had hired had deeply similar values was very reassuring.

We talked about expectations with mask wearing and social distancing, making sure everyone involved understood our mutual risk in this pandemic era.  I'm happy to report that so far everyone on the team, as well as everyone in my family, have remained healthy, and I'd like to think part of that was due to the precautions we have all taken.

Being a relatively new homeowner, I had never had a team work on my house before and to be quite honest had no idea how I was supposed to act.  Should I be completely hands off?  Should I try to become an apprentice?  Should I try to make small talk?  What if they don't like me?  Do they want water?  Is it offensive to bring them things?  Is it offensive to play Vampyre on a playstation upstairs while two guys paint?  What if you write an article while they're doing hard labor?

I had small experiences in my past in terms of home improvement and repair. They weren't insignificant and I wanted to be of some help if able.  I also wanted to learn a little bit about the process so I didn't feel so useless.

I was also aware of a certain commercial making light of the people that hire others and then try to help out, and I distinctly remember feeling like I didn't want to be that guy.

As the project got underway, I was introduced to Liam's partners, Chris and Bill; two brothers from neighboring Philipsburg who shared in Liam's vision of doing things on a more local and personal level.  

I let them know to essentially make any adjustments they needed to make, and if they needed anything from me to just ask.  

I think giving the team space helped allow them to adjust to their new work environment, but it kind of drove me nuts.  I wanted to help, and in some very real way, wanted to know more about the people now working to improve my home.

After the first day, and mostly hanging back, I offered to the team that if they want to use me for any kind of simple labor that wouldn't get in their way, I would be on board.

Chris seemed pretty appreciative with the offer and suggested that the next day would be a good day for that since it would be mostly sanding the walls in preparation for painting later.

It ended up being pretty perfect for me.  It gave me a chance to talk to both guys about their background.  

They talked about how their family was a family of hard working entrepreneurs of various trades, including home contracting and a tow truck company.

I came under the impression that Chris and Bill may have been where Liam is now, at a younger age, but now enjoy doing the nuts and bolts of the job more than the oversight.  Having gone from employee, to manager, to employee myself, I felt like I could empathize a bit with that thought process.

We shared stories of where we grew up and what we liked to do.  They enjoyed the outdoors, fishing and hunting, while I was more into football and television.  I talked about what it was like for me choosing between signing up for the military vs going to college after 9/11 and why I chose to study journalism.  Our shared stories helping lead to a stronger relationship and what I hoped would be a positive experience for everyone.

The next two days of the job included more technical expertise and my assistance was not needed.  I appreciated this to a large degree, because while I was eager to help, I was not eager to make any mistakes and potentially create more work and make the job more expensive.  

I encouraged them to play music if they liked, and let them know if things came up in their personal lives that they needed to be taken care of, that would be fine by me.  The quality of the job and their happiness was more important to me than the timing.

They did say that during the floor installation phase I might be useful again to help relay pieces and I thought that would be fine.

Now, when that phase happened, something else also happened, where I got inspired to write.

Like I said, I had studied journalism in college, and now being furloughed from my traditional job, I felt like if a worthwhile topic and thought provoking idea comes across my brain I need to put it to paper and try to develop it.

Regrettably, I didn't let Chris and Bill know I was writing with my headphones in, and they started that part of the job without me.

To be sure, I felt an odd sense of guilt where I felt like I had let the people I was paying to do the work, down.  

Thankfully, as they finished for the day, and while they gave me a good natured hard time about it, there was only understanding and respect for each other.

Near the end of the job, there was a few changes we had made to our original contract that changed the end price that we were curious about.

After emailing Liam, he got back right away saying that he had recently lost his Grandmother to Covid-19.  Devastating news to anyone and given that we were in the process of exchanging our stories, felt personal to me too.

I let him know to not worry about my question at the moment and that my thoughts were with him.

Chris and Bill were able to finish the job shortly after and Liam came by for a final review of the work and to debrief.  The work they had done was beautiful and exactly what my wife and I had asked for.  We couldn't have been more satisfied.

In a time where human contact and personal connections seem to be becoming increasingly rare, our experience with Liam, Chris and Bill was overwhelmingly positive and helped reaffirm my wife and I's faith in our neighbors and our community.

Why Penn State's Football Culture Returning Matters More Than Ever

I must confess I have yet to care about college football.  That will change for the first time this Saturday.

I know the SEC has been on.  I know that Notre Dame is playing.  I know Clemson is out there.  To me, it just hasn't mattered.  

This year has obviously been wildly different than any in mine, and most everyone else's, lifetime.  A worldwide pandemic has struck; one in which the United States has been losing nearly one thousand lives a day and continues spread at alarming rates.

There has been both violent and civil unrest as more and more Americans are becoming outraged at the conduct of officers and a system of justice that severely needs addressing.

In a very real way, my appetite for sports in this time frame has waned.  Even my favorite basketball team, the Los Angeles Lakers, winning a championship didn't particularly excite me.  The bizarreness of it all had slightly stripped the joy.

Penn State, like it or not, will also be in the news for this week for the Pat Chambers resigning/dismissal story.  The speculative stories seem to center around the case of Rasir Bolten and Josh Reaves, which may have been smoking guns towards a larger issue that the general public wasn't aware of with Chambers.

While some fans have decided to pass judgment, I don't pretend to know all the information that was found during Penn State's internal investigation, but one would have to think that the evidence found was substantial and serious enough that neither side wanted it public.

I will always say that being a coach or a manager and how you treat subordinates is a very big deal, and how you are perceived by those that work under you matters.  Pat Chambers has had numerous reports about temper issues that have resulted in conduct that would be inconsistent with the values of Penn State.

I don't believe Penn State would or should tolerate coaches who may use fear and anger as tools to teach.  If that's what was happening, as reports have indicated, then I have no issue with the two sides separating and moving on.

All that said, finding something positive to write about this week before the start of the game proved a little bit more difficult, but all the same, I am ready to get started.


There are many different kinds of fans that watch and support Penn State football.  Some support out of their own family tradition.  Some just like the brand of football.  Some have an appreciation for the specific culture.  Some because they are alumni.  Some just like the simple blue and white color scheme.

I fall into the category of rooting for this program because of it's espoused culture.  One where academics and the process of education will be put before athletic results.  

That is not to say athletic results do not impact the student-athlete business, but that the athletic aspect remains secondary.

One of the biggest points of pride I had held for my alma mater was that focus so many of our young athletes had towards other pursuits.  Penn State football graduates were not athletes.  They were renaissance men. They were the best of every world.

And the best part is, you can see it on the field.

You see it in the physical effort and grit of the linemen.

You see it in second and third efforts from running backs.

You see it when coaches pull kids aside to teach rather than scream and yell.

You see it when sportsmanship is shown by helping up an opponent.

You see it when a mistake is made and it brings a team closer together.

You see it when an individual triumphs, it is a team that celebrates.

You see it when they leave football and remain successful.

When I watch this Saturday, I will be excited to watch a team go out there and attempt to be both physically and mentally superior in everyway.  I want to watch the team make highlight play after highlight play.

I also understand that isn't realistic.  Indiana, while not as reputable a program as Penn State, has players who have been training and working hard for their own goals.  

I expect there to be adversity for this Penn State team, perhaps lots of it.  In those moments, I look forward to seeing the character of the team reveal itself and grow.  What happens if an injury occurs?  A penalty?  A turnover?  Just like in the past, I expect to see our young people at their best.

For the past 6 years, James Franklin has been an exemplary leader for the program and for young people.  He has not waivered in his commitment to a positive mindset getting positive results.  In my estimation, he along with Sandy Barbour and Bill O'Brien deserve the lion's share of credit for keeping a unified football front during the height of the sanctions imposed by the NCAA.

Despite asking his players to be so much more than athletes; despite working for an institution that still needs to do more to ingratiate itself with minority communities; despite dealing with a past as divisive as any, James Franklin is getting some of the very best kids in America to believe in him and Penn State.  I believe in time, it will lead to multiple championships.

In an HBO special, the little goal that Franklin had kind of kept to himself, that he wanted be the first African American head coach to win a National Championship, got amplified.  I believe that message will resonate in a way we haven't seen before.  If the the start of the 2022 recruiting cycle is any indicator, certainly it seems more top players may want to be part of that vision.

I don't know what tomorrow holds.  I have my doubts about wins and losses.  I don't know if  Penn State will finish the season, or if they get to a championship game, should they even play a team like Alabama who hasn't taken the disease seriously and may infect them in the middle of a pandemic?  

What I do know, and what I take solace in, is that so far, the leaders at Penn State, while not perfect, have done a great job of keeping Penn State's athlete's reputation of being more than an athlete. They have kept moving forward and while there have been setbacks, they continue to embody a spirit of perseverance and positivity.

I look forward to more of the same come Saturday afternoon.  

Register to vote against the modern fascist.

 

Today is the absolute last opportunity to register to vote. 

I honestly believe if Trump stays in office the entire country will break down and descend into whatever the ugliest version of modern day fascism could be.

The evidence for this is as follows.
****

Forced reproductive surgeries and sterilizations by law enforcement and people "following orders." 

The threat of law enforcement becoming increasingly radicalized and looked at as the only way to maintain order, often at the expense of minority groups.

The Neo-nazis that killed a protestor by using a car to run over people who simply did not want the KKK and Neo-Nazis marching through their town.

The continued assault on the press and freedom of speech as the police attempt to intimidate and target journalists who are attempting to freely cover the social unrest.

The continued championing of a go it alone mentality, as well as a belief of an exceptionalism due to their heritage.

The criminalization and championing of violence towards political adversaries.

We can start the process of healing with Biden.

No he isn't perfect.  No president ever has been or will be.  But we need as a country to start choosing the representatives that work for all of us and not just some. 

We need to find a way to find peace and disarm not only ourselves, but the world. The goal should not be conquest via violence, but harmony and peace via diplomacy.

I know that for some, no amount or reasoning will work.

They would be the same kinds of people that existed in Germany that sat passively by, happy to reap any economic benefit and believe the lies of Hitler, a charismatic and angry individual who at the end of the day cared only about himself and his vision for a world without anyone he deemed unworthy.

Those are the little Nazi's.  The ones that sat back and may not engage in the violence, but would let the violence occur if it benefitted them.

But for some still, I think there is conflicting narrative that throws them for a loop. 

Because Biden is flawed, the argument is that he is just as flawed as Trump.

That isn't true.

Fascism is the cruel disease that under the right circumstances, will destroy a democracy.

It doesn't happen overnight, it happens over time.

Please, do if you haven't yet please register and please vote for Biden. 

Vote against the modern Nazi.

Adventures In Quarentine: Natural Instinct

As I sit at my kitchen table and watch out the window, I see my newest friends. 

There's Baxter and Mr. BunBun, laying outstretched by the patio swing, Backpack is at the picnic table scarfing down everything in sight, Junior and J.R. battle over a picked over cob of corn.  Jacques, the late night rascal that he is, has just gone to bed maybe an hour before I got up.  Sadly, Lucy and Early haven't returned in over a month.

These are the assorted little creatures that make up my backyard wildlife.

I watch them, and I can't help but feel my mouth curl upwards into a smile and my heart feels warm. 

In these moments, with these brief and fleeting moments with nature, I have found an oasis of peace and insulation from a world that seems to filled with conflict.

I know full well that these animals do not need me.  There is plenty of food available within the community if they would be willing to risk going outside the confines of the surrounding yard.  Yet for me, I feel like a strange alien governor, feeding my citizens in hopes of encouraging a more peaceful union.  It feels good to give.

This little event started naturally out of boredom and looking for things to do.  We named the squirrels, bunnies, and even a skunk that has decided to come by for a bit, although the skunk development has led to a bit of friction between my wife and I.  She is decidedly less 'pro' skunk than I am.

Quarantine, has altered life drastically for most of us, and most definitely me.  So to spend a few minutes each morning just watching these little lives roam and enjoy their environment gives a certain sense of normalcy in times that are absolutely not normal.

I spend most of my free time in front of screens these day and I have found that the digital environment can be one fraught with anxiety.  To unplug from the stream of information that is constantly pitting one side against another is to give your mind a break from attempting to decipher right and wrong things with the world.


 

How The Big Ten and Pac-12 Accidentally Saved Their Players and Made Them Money.

The Big Ten and Pac 12 don't care as much as the SEC, Big 12, and ACC does about its players, its fans, and about football.

That is the narrative being talked about right now by many in the college football media sphere.

The Big Ten messed up, and they need to fire people, etc.

Perhaps.

But maybe, begrudgingly, they not only did the right thing, but they put their football programs and players in a far better place to succeed.

Because the NFL, or any other company isn't going to pass on players and talent for a lack of tape due to a pandemic and subsequent conference decision.

The NFL and its scouts are in business of stockpiling human capital.  The college season only helps serve the scouts in helping determine who MIGHT be better for their team.  It is not even close to the only metric, and maybe not even the most important one, depending on the position.

The New York Giants aren't going to pass on the physical freaks being trained here at Penn State, or Ohio State, or USC, or whatever players Nebraska has that have a chance to make it to the league.

While game reps matter, they are not necessarily the most important aspect to a prospect.  Size, speed, strength, and an understanding of the game are all more important to a coach and general manager.  The tape is used to help, but it's not everything.

There is also some evidence that playing may actually HURT your opportunity in the NFL.  The position of running back, in particular, is now looked at with how many carries they have in a career, with more carries equating to caution as their career might be shorter.

Wear and tear matters as well, and any player who plays this season will add some experience, but will also add hits to their bodies, potentially setting them up for shorter pro careers.  The off-season is used to heal from a long grueling season, as well as to build up for the next one. 

If I ran an organization and I wanted to draft a prospect, with potentially the exception of quarterback, I would prefer the player that I think has less wear and tear on their system, and the one that had devoted the entirety of the year preparing for the NEXT season and not this current year.

Not only that, injuries and risk are far more mitigated to those players sitting out and focusing on training.

Right now, let's say Kyle Pitts and Brevin Jordan play 4 or 5 games for Florida and Miami, respectively.  They are projected as the two other top tight ends in the country.  Just because they played, while Pat Friermuth continued to work and train, will not put them ahead of Friermuth, especially if Friermuth puts up incredible combine numbers. 


Now, not all players are NFL prospects, but that doesn't mean they don't want to play.  The game is incredibly fun.  I believe if you asked them, they wouldn't care what uniform they put on, as long as they could play.  This game is addicting, and people will do almost anything to keep playing.

Players will try to hide injuries to play.

Players have cheated on tests to play.

Players have taken steroids to play.

So it doesn't shock me in the slightest that a lot of players would want to play during a pandemic, ESPECIALLY if they feel safer in their college bubble than they do at home.

That said, they are more than football players, but human beings that know full well that they will likely not become pros in the NFL, and they will not get to choose the end of their playing days. 

It is essential that those players live, grow, become healthy, and become the best versions of themselves BEYOND football.

By encouraging those players to continue their education and encouraging them to continue trusting in their values and training that they are far more likely to become more well rounded than their counter-parts in the SEC, who will have so much of their attention drawn to playing a meaningless season for the boosters of the their schools.

For example, if I were a bank hiring a finance major from Clemson or Penn State, would I take the student-athlete who was completely focused on football, or one that had a balanced approach?  I'd like to think the latter.

As the schools of the South appear dead set on attempting to exploit America's football addiction for profit, the schools of the Big Ten and Pac-12 have decided to mitigate the damage of the virus to best of their abilities (which was still poorly executed and done with such little transparency everyone was left appalled).

In the end, while I think the SEC has won a short-term image battle in public sphere, it will be the athletes of the Big Ten and Pac-12 who will benefit the most from their leaders decision to postpone the season.

To Play or Pandemic? Feelings Towards an Unknown Season.

When I was 18, and a Freshman with Penn State football, I would have done just about anything to be out on the field.  

Not even to play, just to dress.

As a walk-on, and a late one that made it via try-out, I had an incredible uphill battle.  

If I were to put myself in my 18 year old self, I would absolutely want to stay involved, and play a season.  I would sign a waiver.

I imagine, for those upperclassmen who may have waited years for this opportunity, they would do nearly anything to play.

I imagine that pretty much anyone who truly loves the game and has a near fanatical passion for it, would want to play.

The question becomes "Under what circumstances?"  

As long as the approaches and measures taken are what the players, the coaches, and support staff are comfortable with, then I can in good conscience support an attempt at a season.

HOWEVER,

I recognize we are in a pandemic state.

Over 160k have tragically passed in America to this novel Coronavirus.  

The only way any nation has been able to control the virus has been widespread adherence to social distancing and mask wearing combined with vigorous testing and contact tracing.

It appears to most in our academic and health care communities agree that having large crowds and doing nearly anything together over time greatly increases the risk.

If Penn State does value the opinions of doctors and academics, then I believe any kind of season will not have fans.

As a former letterman, mine (as well as others) have had their sideline privileges taken away (I have zero problems with this).

The players, coaches, and support staff must always feel safe and supported as well as their families.  If for this season, it is recommended there are no fans in seats then fine.

I honestly think they could play the games, tape them and play them later and all of America would still watch while knowing the results. Thats how starved I feel some people are for new athletic content.

Now, I also think people should also accept and be open to the idea that a season may start, stop and not have a clear champion.

We need to be OK with these potential scenarios as our collective health and well being are more important than one specific sport or game or thing.

If no one is sick, or getting sick, and things are improving, fantastic. 

If we move into November and an outbreak hits the offensive or defensive lineman rooms?

If the the support staff aren't properly equipped and they pass the disease to a loved one?

These are difficult times, and we need to be patient and support one another through everything.  I want those young guys to have fun.  To be able to show how hard they worked, not just this year, but for their whole life.

I love the guys out there asking to have a season just as much as I love Micah for deciding not to play and train in a more comfortable environment.  Both things can be true.

I think we can try to have some football on the players terms, but I think we as fans and as people, need to recognize that this is difficult and turn to our better angels of support and empathy at this time.

The Need To Teach America About The Evolution Of White Supremacy.

When I was in fifth grade, we were watching the series Roots in what became a startling show of the terror inflicted by white people upon the Black population they had kidnapped and forced into slavery. 

In the middle of the unit, our school day was interrupted as news spread about the Oklahoma City bombing. 

Timothy McVeigh killed 168 people, including 19 children.

At age ten, I had a hard time understanding what happened.  It seemed that everyone around me calmed me down by saying it was just the work of a crazy person.  He was just imbalanced, and just like that, I didn't really think about McVeigh again. 

I turned back to Roots, horrified at both the actions and inactions of people of history.  Believing and hoping we had moved on.

In 1999, I was a freshman in high school, when Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold murdered 13 people.

Again, the reasoning given was about the imbalance, about bullying and about the media.  There was considerably less importance placed on the obsessions about Hitler and far right ideas.

In 2015 Dylan Roof killed 9 people in a church after first praying with them, in an effort to start a race war. 

I thought it was just the act of a loner.

There was no talk about white supremacy anymore because, while all these events were happening around us, we were taught that essentially Martin Luther King Jr, along with Rosa Parks, solved racism in America. 

We were taught that racists were now only a very small minority; that they existed only in the past and that we had moved on. 

The idea of the KKK, of Neo-Nazis, and the idea of the far-right existing within America was simply not brought up as a realistic thing in my education. We were taught that they were simply a relic of the past and not worth our time.

I remember thinking American History X was just that.  A movie.

At no point, was I taught the name George Lincoln Rockwell, a former Navy man, and the founder of the American Nazi party, whose influence and ideas can be seen all over the far right and a person whose influence is still wreaking havoc long past his death. 

Louis Beam, likewise, was absent from my history books, even though he was a former member of the US military in Vietnam where he served as a helicopter door gunner, would come home to not only become a domestic terrorist as a member of the KKK, but then also built his own organized militia to promote racist military style trainings in kids as young as 8.  He is also credited with being one of the first proponents to a leaderless resistance strategy that is employed in many different factions.

This has done us all an incredible disservice from understanding where some ideas and thoughts come from.

The "free speech on college campus" idea isn't new.  But it's important to understand that Rockwell wanted to exploit that idea and was the first to do so.  It's also important to understand how Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., as well as others, did not play into his hand so as to diminish the power of the propagandist.

It's important to realize that both the El Paso shooter, and the Christchurch shooter both believed in a variation of the original lie of white genocide that Rockwell espoused.  They believed that the Jews are behind everything and that they are using blacks to carry out that will.

To this day, I'm guessing the great majority of Americans have no idea that the El Paso shooter, the Christchurch shooter, Louis Beam, Eric Harris, Dylan Roof and Timothy McVeigh all read the same book written by a Neo-Nazi named William Luther Pierce who was a direct associate of Rockwell. 

I believe we need to address this shortfall, as white supremacy is a real threat to democracy.  I believe the best tool is education.  We need to have the hard conversations, especially with our friends and family about where this hate has come from, what this hate sounds like, and why this hate has been so difficult to extinguish.

Easily the best source of information for me researching the bulk of this material has been the journalist Robert Evans.  While he had previously covered the Ukrainian Revolution of 2014 as well as the war in Iraq, he has spent the last few years reporting domestically and starting his own podcast called Behind The Bastards.

However it is his other Podcast, The War On Everyone that really spells out the role White Supremacy and Fascism has played in American Culture.

Evans absolutely has a bit of Hunter S. Thompson to his reporting, however he is great at citing sources, and giving greater context to things that might not be as readily apparent.  He is also honest enough to say when he simply does not know because he couldn't find any sources.

His dedication to revealing detailed information about some of the worst possible topics helps to illuminate our own world in a new light, and calls attention to our own biases and flaws.

These are trying times.  Confusing times.  But if we understand our past, it can help guide us in the present, and preserve a better future.

4 Year Anniversary

As I entered the car, it became readily apparent that my best man was incredibly hung over.  He, as well as my other groomsmen had partied pretty hard at the bars we had worked at when we were younger.  Later I would find videos taken by the DJ of my best guys smashing shots and banging their heads as DJ Snake and Lil' Jon's "Turn Down For What?" blared all around.

"Dude, I'm sorry, but we gotta stop at this Minute Mart or this is not happening."

Here I was, held hostage for my own wedding, with the demands of electrolytes being the key bargaining piece.

Yet still, as the sky became more grey and the prospect of a thunderstorm occurring during our wedding became more likely, I still was calm.  I was still happy and excited.

I might be late today.  My best man might not live through the wedding. 

But I couldn't be bothered that day.

Today was my wedding day.

The ceremony was held indoors at Our Lady Of Victory, where we sheltered from the rain.  And inside, all I could think about was how special this moment was.  Where despite all the ugliness of the world, all the rain and thunder that shook outside the walls of the church; inside, there was only love and joy.

I thought about how my wife and I were kind of opposites in some ways.  She was Catholic.  I was an Atheist.  She came from a more conservative background from a smaller rural area.  I came from almost the heart of academia, with almost every family member connected to Penn State in some form or fashion.

Yet we loved each other deeply.  That for all the things that didn't seem to make sense about the world, this absolutely did.  In fact there was nothing I was more sure of in that moment.

We were surrounded in that moment with our trusted friends and family that could be there, and those that couldn't, were in our hearts.

We couldn't be hurt by the outside world.

Four years later, I'm happy that's still the case.

We are in the midst of one of the most challenging times in human history.  A pandemic.  Global political and civil unrest, and the real possibility that resources that were once plentiful, may become less so.  One could hardly be blamed for feelings of anxiety or depression.

Yet, despite all the difficulties and troubles, I'm able to find my happiness, my calm.  Because in my heart and in my home, I have my world.

I love you Allie.

Happy Anniversary. 

Love, Ben

Summer Softball During The Pandemic

I stand outside the dugout, pressed to the fence of the backstop yelling things that I think I used to yell when I was 12.  Doug takes a long stride and he nicks the ball after a loaded swing.  The ball flies up into the air for maybe half a beat, rising not much higher than Doug's own head and the catcher, a smaller, rather rotund man in his 50's catches the harmless ball. 

"Great stuff! Great stuff 1-5!" The catcher yells, as the pitcher, number 15, has delivered the exact same type of generic pitch every other slow-pitch softball pitcher has ever pitched.  A slow arcing corn hole toss landing in the general vicinity of home plate. 

Doug's head drops, but we cannot quite make out his entire expression as he has put up his face guard at home plate.  The words that seem to just make it out under his breath and his eyes show a look of sheer frustration.

It's incredibly hot out.  Somewhere in the mid 90's and humidity that seemed to have sprung out of nowhere.  I'm sweating through my jersey and taking practice swings, trying desperately to loosen enough muscles to where the swing actually feels natural and comfortable like it did when I was twelve.  I know I'll never get there.  My back feels it needs to crack but never can.  Like I can never fully unwind.

There's a few fans and families out on the side to cheer.  Most, like the players themselves, just seemingly looking for something else to do outside of the house.  They bring pets and snacks and their lawn chairs and take in a game of grown men attempting to stay young and play a child's game.

We lose the first game by ten runs, the game is over quickly.  The second game we win by ten runs.

There is such a huge mix of solid plays with unbelievably funny goofs that it becomes difficult to keep them all straight.

This is the slow pitch softball that I have come to love.

And now, twice every Monday, we get to play again.



When I was first approached about playing again this year I was hesitant at first.  I knew the pandemic wasn't over, but softball seemed like one of the few games that you could truly minimize and control contact with others.  With the exception of the batter, catcher, and umpire (the league is official enough for umps, but casual enough for gym shorts and "courtesy" runners.), the sport doesn't require any of the players to be within six feet of each other for any kind of prolonged time and is played outside.

Still, I waffled.  My wife and sister both have asthma.  My parents, as well as my in-laws are all in riskier age ranges.  At every turn when this disease has been underestimated it seems to have spread and had deadly consequences.  For me to imagine myself being partly responsible for someone else's death due to my own desire to live life as best I can was a reality I had to at least think about. 

Ultimately the deciding factor in me playing was that it seemed that my state, Pennsylvania, had done a great job with their initial lock-down phase.  New cases were declining steadily, businesses were on the brink of what seemed like a near re-open, and it felt like things were going to this new semi-open model of life.

I felt like as long as I took certain precautions,  while the risk was certainly still present, it would be so low that it'd to be worth it to have some semblance of social normalcy.  To get out of the house and into the world around me and do something both physical and pleasurable.  To get outside to feel the sun, feel the camaraderie, and feel like the planet is still the same one I remembered.

I am currently playing under my own guidance that as soon as either someone on the team gets sick or tests positive, my season will likely be over, regardless of rules imposed by either the state or the league.

I continue to moderate my habits.  As cases in PA have begun to rise again, and the new data suggesting more asymptomatic spread, I will wear a mask for the entirety of the game.

For me, it's a personal decision, but one that I think allows me to play and enjoy something else in life, while still attempting to keep those around me safe.  I also shared my decision with others who would be spending time with me so they knew where I had been previously, and I made sure the people who I shared a house with (in this case, just my wife) were OK with my choice.


Our team has not played particularly well as a group.  We are 1-5.  While I think we all have some baseball or athletics in our background, none of us would be confused for what I would call a "ringer".

At times, it's hard to stay motivated as I fail to bend over at the waist far enough to pick up a ground ball or when the other team has a couple of players just crushing the ball all over.

But I still want to play.  Because at the moment it offers my life a sense of spontaneity that is positive.  If during my at bat, I can hit the ball hard, and maybe, if I happened to have actually stretched before the game, I can open up my gate enough to re-live just a moment of youthful energy, it'll be worth it. 

If we can pull together and string just enough hits and defensive plays to win one more game, it'll be worth it.

If we can just smile and live in the moment, it will be worth it.

I get a text on my phone from the Captain.  "Game on Monday vs the Labbat Blues.  Field 4.  Whose in?"


I don't hesitate.

I'm in. 

Why I Hated Michael Jordan. Revisiting My Drum Major Instinct In The Mid 90's

An instinct for attention, a desire to be the subject of admiration, to be out in front.  The idea of the Drum Major Instinct was first brought to me by a sermon I saw posted from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. a few years ago.  In that sermon, Dr. King talks about the psychology of this instinct that drives human nature for attention.

When Michael Jordan was drafted, I was just six months old.  So I didn't really have any preconceived notion of who he was before I came into consciousness, it just seemed like he had always existed.

I didn't understand sports at an early age.  I mean, to be fair, I didn't understand much of anything at age six.  When Jordan won his first Championship, I was still trying understand the basic rules of recess during kindergarten.(which I often violated).

What I did see and hear from everyone around me was that Michael Jordan was not only the greatest athlete of today, but that he was the greatest we had ever seen.  He was the closest thing to a living Superman that we had ever seen.  Not only that, he was a self made star who came from humble beginnings. Someone who had failed earlier and made himself better. 

I have never seen a man revered as a near deity the way I saw people look at Jordan in the 90's.

He achieved a career path that would become unparalleled, and in many ways represent an idealized American Dream.  He was the son of two educated Black Americans during the middle of the Civil Rights movement of the 60's and 70's.  His story of failure to make his high school varsity team only to make him train even harder and get better is used by coaches the world over.

He became an unbeatable champion.  Able to out run and out jump everyone else. In many way, Michael Jordan was the American Dream that nearly all of America wanted for its children.  It certainly felt like I was supposed to love him.

But I didn't.

I felt like I was being told I had to like this player.  That I had to love him.  To not love him was almost an American sin.

I couldn't accept that.

I knew Michael Jordan was an incredible and great player.  That wasn't the issue for me.  The issue was the near cult-like following of love he had attained that I simply could not understand.  The fact that it seemed like everyone around me revered someone or something else.

My "Drum Major Instinct" was kicking in, in my own way.  I wanted to stand out from the crowd of people who revered Jordan. 

At first, it wasn't that I had any allusions that I could be better than Jordan.  That seemed preposterous even for my small minded, yet growing ego.  What did seem realistic was that there would be other great players worth rooting for.  That there would be other players who would challenge for the throne of greatest players.

When Michael Jordan retired in '93, I was 9.  Still far too young to really grasp what was going on in the world, I truly enjoyed every aspect of athletics.  I could pour all my energy into just pretending I was somebody else.  Pretending to be a superstar.

Enter Shawn Kemp.

Now, Shawn Kemp is no longer thought of as a Hall Of Fame type player.  His career derailed by poor decisions by the front office, his agent/manager, and Kemp himself.  But by the mid 90's he was an ascending star.  When the Sonics lost to the Bulls in 6 games, it was Kemp who was the second best player on the floor.  He looked like a player that might become an MVP candidate.  While being guarded by a Hall Of Fame defender in Dennis Rodman, he averaged 23 points, 10 rebounds, 2 blocks, and a steal per game.

My friends and I would lower baskets artificially so we could dunk and I would always want to be Kemp.  To me, he was becoming the icon that others saw Jordan as.

The Sonics lose in the Finals, they trade Kemp to Cleveland, and things are never quite the same.

This is when I switch from being a fan of the Sonics, who had traded away my favorite player, to being a Lakers fan, who had just aquired Shaquille O'Neal, and drafted a kid out of Philadelphia, PA named Kobe Bryant.

Now remember what I had been saying about the drum major instinct?  That desire to be out in front?  To be number one at something or root for the best thing?  To attach yourself to something else that might be better than someone or something else?

Well now it's burning inside of me, because it feels like my team, almost my identity had lost a little bit of its shine.  Jordan, a superhero to many, but a villain to me, had literally just vanquished one of my heroes and favorite players.

I needed a new one.



Now, I realize my resentment towards Jordan at this time is completely and totally made up in my mind.  It had nothing to do with him personally, or even about his actual game.  I understood that what made Jordan so good was that he had an incredible blend of skills to go with an incredible blend of athleticism.  Even though I may have thought I hated Jordan, it would be intellectually dishonest of me if I didn't think his game wasn't the most effective for playing basketball.

It was my misguided use of this drum major instinct, a perversion of wanting to be first, wanting to be right, and a jealousy of the attention given to others let led me to the disliking of someone else for completely arbitrary reasons.


One might think that Dr. King would go on to attack this Drum Major Instinct.  This idea that one wanted someone to go out with the intention of separating themselves to be the best is a bad thing.  This desire to stand out in front is to be shunned and to be put away.

But that is not the lesson that Dr. King preaches. 

Instead he asks that we should want to be great.  We should want to be better than those that came before.  We should encourage this instinct.

But we should make sure that the instinct is used correctly.

Be first in kindness.

Be first in moral excellence

Be first, be best at being a good human being.

That same instinct that made me resent Jordan, also made me get up for conditioning drills at 4.AM.  The same one that drove me to studying through late nights to make my grades for college.  The same one that drove me to work my way up to become a manager.

The same one driving me now to be the best person I can be to everyone I meet.

That same drive is the one that I now see in Michal Jordan. 

He wasn't perfect, he knew that, he understood that.  But he was driven to be the absolute best he could be at something that he loved. 

And once you see that.  When you see his passion and love for the game is actually identical to your own, it's an incredibly powerful feeling.

Why I Cried After Ahmaud Arbery's Death.

After Donald Trump got elected, I asked a friend and coworker of mine, who also happened to be Black and a vocal supporter of Trump, if he was truly happy with the outcome. 

He said of course; he was ecstatic. 

He had been working with the campaign as part of an internship and had goals of moving up the political ladder it seemed.  I think he believed in the values of some conservative circles, but perhaps not all the things by what he thought were the fringes.

I don't doubt that he thought that he was doing the right thing. 

But still, it ate at me.  I knew there was a segment of America that was becoming increasingly agitated and emboldened to perpetrate violence against minorities. 

You could see and feel it. 

And for the first time in my life, it felt like I was living it.

I had noticed over the past few years, myself, that anytime I'm with my black friends the police look differently at our group.  I've had more interactions with the police pulling me over for having a black friend in the car more so than I have for speeding.

There had been countless stories and videos of the police abusing black military veterans, black children, women, and the elderly.

This became a rallying cry of some in the police circles, that they were under attack, rather than admit any fault in their policing or handling of respective situations.

For me, I was taking note during the end of the Obama administration, that there were a very public string of deaths where unarmed black men were deemed threats by police and were killed, creating a very public outcry.

This is also when Colin Kaepernick famously took a knee to protest these killings.

This was America in 2016.

The sentiment and rhetoric being preached by Trump then, was that anyone who would dare protest against the police using the flag were terrible people.  That they were the enemy.  That those that spoke out against police brutality were in the wrong.

So after the election, I had to ask the question, and had to state my feelings.

Why support someone who makes it so clearly less safe for minorities to exist at all?

I told him that I knew people, including some relatives, that wouldn't hesitate to treat him as a threat, to treat him with suspicion, and who, if he showed up alone on their doorstep on a rainy evening, would likely threaten his life.

At the time, my friend suggested that it would be no different than what has always existed.  That he could take care of himself and that he could deal with it.

I replied, "That might be great for you, but one of my best friends is also Black and lives in the South.  I feel like right now, his life is in more danger because of this.  That his life is now in jeopardy because some extremists feel the coming of Trump is the justification for treating minorities and the people that disagree with them as subhuman."

That was roughly 3 and a half years ago.

Ahmaud Arbery's death in Georgia is the fate that I was scared of, not only for my friend,but for every minority and every ally of a minority.

That you could be picked out due to your race and become a target, by either the police or by vigilantes, and be murdered.

That you could wind up dead, and because a state and police force is so saturated with corruption and racism, there wouldn't even be an investigation until the newspapers reporting on it essentially force one.

In North Carolina, the state my best friend lives in, a white mob was led by an off duty police officer looking for vigilante justice and was so akin to a modern day lynching it's mere mention turns my stomach with disgust.

I cried yesterday for the first time during this pandemic.  I cried because I realized that just because I could see Ahmaud Arbery's death coming 3 years ago, I couldn't find the right words to stop it.  I couldn't convince those around me that these tragedies were going to come.  I couldn't get people to see the world the way I saw it.

I cried because I can't protect my friend from the hate that still exists in America, and no matter what I say, it seems like that hate won't go away.


I typically try to write something to help inspire and make people feel good and optimistic, but today I just wanted to share how painful it has been for me to watch so many stories of black people being killed, black people being oppressed and the way that it affects me.

I guess, if there is a positive, it is only that it strengthens my resolve to advocate for policies of peace, to advocate for systemic justice and government reform.

To continue to try and speak and inspire those to speak up against injustice and inequality.

To try and inspire us all to be more kind.

Rebound

I'm a big believer in athletics and the lessons that can be taught metaphorically through physical activity.

Today I want to go over something that I am looking forward to, and I hope that my words might help others that might be a bit depressed to have a bit of optimism.

I want to talk about rebounding.

In athletic circles, rebounding is most associated with the gathering of a missed attempt.  It is essentially who is going to be in position to take control while if, just for a moment, the game is up for grabs.

Rebounding is widely viewed as an essential indicator for successful play.  The more opportunities you get, the more likely you are to succeed.  It involves effort, skill, and an understanding of team positioning and space.

In my brief basketball career, I always had a knack for the rebound.  Sure I was taller than most of my peers, but I also was taught early on by my Grandmother about what it really meant to go get the ball. 

She was a shorter woman who had played in high school in a small town in Iowa, and one of the most important lessons she talked about was how even though she was small, she had every right to go get the ball.  So whether it was diving on the court for a loose ball, or being physical and maybe putting a bit of an elbow in the bigger bully's back, you can go get what you want, no matter who you were.

For me, rebounding became about going to get something that I wanted.  Early on, I didn't have any particular skills for dribbling or shooting, so my first few games the only thing I ever bothered with was rebounding.  Get the rebound, pass to the kids who had been playing basketball a bit longer and let them shoot.  Once my own skills caught up, I realized that if I rebounded the ball, I was able to start my own fast breaks and my skills as a runner and jumper would become more in play.

Now, I'm 36.  I can't jump as high and rarely play.  But every now and then, maybe at a pick up game in a park, I will get that urge to leap high into the air, pluck the ball and slap it, letting everyone know I can take control over the game.

Right now, the world over, we all need to have that rebound.

We need to channel our efforts into a collective movement that completely supports one another during these times, and that can take control over the future.  We need a determined and obvious effort to make sure we take care of a real crisis and come out on the other side better for it.

For sure, some of the circumstances surrounding this rebound will be out of our control. Just like rebounding a missed shot, the carom is difficult to predict exactly.  The spin of the ball and the exact trajectory of a shot mirrors the unknown trajectory of this novel coronavirus. The disease may come back.  The government or employers may make mistakes.  The exact movements will not be known.

That is why we must adhere to the most fundamental rule of rebounding. Positioning.

In a sport like basketball, for example, as soon as a shot goes up, both teams attempt to "box out" the other, physically pushing their bodies in-between an opponent and the ball to ensure better position.  If you've ever watched an extremely competitive game, the aspect of rebounding is taken so seriously and physical that fights can often emerge from the scrums.

I believe we need to push to test for COVID-19 everywhere, and as often as possible, to put ourselves in the best position to succeed.

I want us to go back to doing the things we truly want to do. 

I am depressed/anxious, and I'm not enjoying the life I'm currently forced to live during this pandemic. 

However, I also don't want to die, or be the cause of a loved one's death.

The only way to reconcile this for me is a test.  Proof that I don't have it OR that I've already had it and have an immunity.  I also believe it is in the interest to all of us that this test is made free or as affordable as humanly possible given how essential it will be to our workforce.

If we put ourselves in that position, we can effectively box out the virus.  We will put a test in-between the virus and our lives and begin to gain control over our health once again.  We will have been able to secure our opportunity for a future.

Podcasts For A Pandemic

Just some of my favorite podcasts to listen to.  No huge preamble.

To me, The Daily is the most concise and well produced news podcast about any single subject.  Instead of a loud cable news show, or the fluff of talk radio, The Daily showcases a style of news that's engaging but not overpowered by hyperbolic rhetoric.   It's produced by the NY Times, and will definitely feel left of center generally speaking but they do give an opportunity for the opposing side to give their opinion. 

This was especially true in their coverage of the Harvey Weinstein case.  Early on episodes focused on the questions asked, the follow up and what not.  However as the case progressed, they gave the defense an opportunity, having the lead defense counsel talk about why she believed Weinstein should be found innocent.

Now with the coverage turning almost *ahem* daily to the Coronavirus, the show has talked to doctor's, politicians, and everyday Americans as we traverse the disease.  They also vary the stories enough through the week that they won't cover the same topic five times in five days.



The Women's War is an incredible and unique story, told by an independent journalist who has an affinity for drugs, guns, and the civilized treatment of all people.

To me, this podcast is about hope, even when it seems there is none.  It's about empathy and about how real power comes in the ability to unite people.

The Women's War will take you away from our current predicament, and talk about the predicament of others, and how our situations might be improved if we took more time to listen to one another, and specifically how the empowerment of women is paramount to having a civilized society.

 


Let's face it, this may be one of the most demanding periods of time in human history.  We are in the middle of a pandemic where a highly contagious disease is ripping through the world and has killed tens of thousands.  There is political tension, income inequality, and a general sense of unease in the world today. 

Being happy and healthy is as difficult as ever, but there are opportunities and ways to go about it.  While the first season is based before the pandemic, Dr. Santos has been checking in for regular updates, attempting to give help and hope in these trying times.

Episodes on screen time, helping the helpers, dealing with isolation, and romantic relationships are all available through the specific lens of the coronavirus quarantine.

Freakonomics has long been my favorite podcast.  Almost every episode leads to me thinking differently about some of the most basic things around me.  Based on data, and the understand of that data, this podcast takes a look at the problems the coronavirus has put on the supply chain, and the decision making that decides who gets a ventilator and who doesn't.

Freakonomics also does the best job of presenting a full and unbiased picture.  Often the host, Stephen J. Dubner, plays an excellent devils advocate often pushing his guests ever so calmly into some very tight corners.





This is only going to be a podcast for the left.  If you are an avid viewer of Fox News, the prior three recommendations I think could be agreeable regardless of political affiliation.  If you're a leftist millennial like me, and got raised through the early 90's and 2000's, there is an excellent chance you can identify with this news and culture podcast.


From takes on social media, politics, trash reality television, and of course dumb food trends, this podcast usually hits on some great topics with equally fun and fresh insight.

Dealing With Confinement. A Time For Thoughtfulness and Ingenuity

So here we are.

People are losing their jobs.

People are getting sick.

People are dying.

As I write this early on Thursday morning, COVID-19 cases stand at over 60,000 in America and almost 1000 Americans have died, with both numbers sure to go up.

Right now, most of the country is doing their best to completely change their behavior and stop movement.  It is nearly impossible for a country whose essence is built around freedom of movement, trade and capitalism, to stop those things for a promised common good. 

But I implore all of my fellow citizens to do just that.

Just because we will be confined to our homes, I don't think we all have to be resigned to feelings of being trapped, such as anger, sadness, or fear.  I think it's natural for those feelings to come forward, but we need to be mentally strong and be able to take on those feelings with positive thoughts.

We can all take this time to make an opportunity for the future.  Think about how we can operate in this new reality and make it better.  Take the opportunity to use our minds to help better the world while it operates both now, while the virus is here, and later, when the virus has been dealt with.

Right now, as a lot of you know, I work at Penn State in a food lab, creating recipes and making measurements so that we can determine things like the effects of pistachios or spices make to your health. 

When I'm working in the lab, I have access to scales, tools and space that allow for an incredible environment to create our experiments.  Everything is easy to reach, wash and clean, and have access to copious space and ingredients

Now we have to try and recreate as best we can from home.

So instead of saying, "I can't do this from home, I don't have X or Y."  We end up saying "How can we get this done"

For one, we brought some of the tools home, including our scales and a portable induction cooktop.

This cooktop allows me to make detailed instructions on the methodology for creating a dish.  Rather than saying low heat for 10 minutes, I can say on 300 watts for 4 minutes, increase to 600 watts for six minutes or whatever heat works best for the dish.

Trying to nail down some pasta sauce.

Due to lack of storage space at home versus a lab, rather than working on several dishes that require a large and diverse set of ingredients, we will try and perfect one dish at a time using a variance of the same ingredients. 

These are just some small things that I'm doing to adjust, but I think it's an example that all of us can think about how to operate in this new climate.  How can we be innovative, how can we be resilient, how can we help others? 

It may take time figuring everything out, and moving slow seems so foreign to the American way of life but right now, unless you are on the front lines as essential personnel, this is our new reality.

When you aren't trying to think of new ways to operate in this new world and helping others, I recommend simply doing what you enjoy and getting a little bit of exercise or stretching. 

The world is going to be hard, and the reality may be worse tomorrow than it is today.  If you enjoy television, reading, video games, scrolling through some social media, do those things and do not feel guilty about it. 

Try to maintain some kind of physical activity.  Doing planks or stretches on a routine basis will help with mood and general health, even if it's just for 15 minutes a day to get started.  Going for a secluded walk or run is another great way to also get out of your confinement for a period of time to get some needed fresh air and movement.

We are an extremely adaptable species.  Right now, we need to adapt to the reality around us as fast as possible, using our minds and ingenuity keep ourselves and our loved ones safe and prosperous. 

The Spirit of '83. Why The Paterno Library Is More Important Than A Statue.

When I think about Joe Paterno, the first

thing that comes to my mind is that he wanted to have an impact far bigger than simply football.

I would argue that he wanted to help Penn State become even greater than a "football school" and to place an incredible focus on academics and the development of people.

If you're a fan of Penn State and Joe Paterno, you are familiar with his 1983 speech to the Board of Trustees.  After winning a National Championship and being regarded as the number 1 team in the country, Paterno plainly argues that Penn State needs do more in specific areas.  He wanted to focus on facilities such as the library to attract scholars and stars and allow the people who come to Penn State the opportunity to reach their full potential.

He talked specifically in that speech about the need for more racial diversity among the entire faculty and a more inclusionary atmosphere for ideas.

What Paterno so elegantly put forward that day, was the idea of moving not just one department, or one athletic program forward, but the entire institution.  The entire community.

And for the most part, that is what happened.  State College and Penn State boomed in the 80's and 90's.  For a lot of people within the community, as well as fans of the program nationwide, a major source of inspiration would be Paterno.

And that is where we find ourselves again.

Penn State athletics, and the school in general, has made some very serious and positive strides.  The recent success of the football program will take the headlines due to the popularity of the sport, but across the spectrum, we have seen an uptick in performance.

But there is still work to be done.


As the news broke yesterday about the Paterno estate and Penn State coming to agreements to move on with their relationship, I thought about how positive that news was.

I thought about Joe and how he would have loved to see people come together once again to move this community forward.  That it was more than just about him, but about ALL the people who make up Penn State and State College. 

However, it did not take long for some to voice their anger toward a particularly divisive issue.

The statue of Paterno that had been taken from the stadium after the crimes of Sandusky shocked the world and it became clear that the statue was a lightning rod of controversy.  People forget now, but due to the nature of the case and raw emotions being exposed, there was a very real threat of violence and unrest built around the statue.

For some, that statue means a lot.  I think for a few, it means almost everything.

I think for some, the return of the statue is what is needed in order for Penn State to admit it was wrong and completely validate the way that person might feel, if they happen to feel that Joe was treated unfairly.

I think for others, the return of that statue is offensive to those that try and report sexual abuse and are turned away and not believed. 

On both sides there are people who would become very willing activists to turn the life of Paterno into something that is only what their side wants to believe.

I do not believe in either case, the outcome is positive for the community or positive for anyone involved.


In this moment, I think Joe would rather not let his memory be boiled down into statues and things of that nature.  I think he would find it petty and silly.

Certainly there are more pressing questions at Penn State such as staff diversity and investment into facilities and faculty.

I like to think that Joe, a staunch believe in academics and sciences, would rather people come to the library that bares his name and read a book on morality by Immanual Kant or Plato.  To visit the heart of the school itself and learn all that they can about the world and not just their own viewpoint of the day.  He encouraged dissent in the pursuit of something better for everyone. 

Yes, the library. The one that he mentioned in 1983 as being one of the most important pieces to developing Penn State.  A place where people might exchange ideas and philosophies in the pursuit of a better and more humane world.  To me, no place is more fitting for a man who meant so much to the university than to be at its spiritual center.

For me, I grew up in Penn State and Joe's shadow.  I think he stood for a lot of great things, but I think like anyone else, he was flawed.  I think he is right to be remembered at Penn State, and he should be remembered in context.

If the previous statue is to be returned, it should be in a building that preaches the peaceful thoughtfulness and exchanging of ideas.

No place will allow that context to be more fulfilled than a library, a literal archive of knowledge.

It also shifts the focus of the man from being a merely a football coach, to being a person essential to Penn State and its community as a whole.


We are in the midst of another moment, just like 1983.  Our wrestling program has been the standard bearer, winning 8 team National Championships in the past 9 years.  Women's Volleyball has won two.  The football team has returned to national prominence and is now competing for a championship.  And now the basketball team has seen what years of sticking with a program and coach can do and have climbed into the discussion of one of the better up and coming programs in all of basketball.

We have an opportunity again.

We have an opportunity to build and become one of the leaders in this country in respects to turning out great men and women in all fields.  To turn Penn State into an amalgamation of academics and athletics that is second to none.

If you were to attend Penn State, teach at Penn State, work at Penn State, or visit Penn State, you feel as though you are in a community and at an institution that cares about you.

It is clear from the announcement from Sue Paterno and Penn State that they are ready to move on.

I am ready to unabashedly support the Paterno library as a lasting tribute to an incredible human being that cared greatly about other people and the education they got while they were under their care.

I am ready to completely support an academic and athletic culture at Penn State that pursues a diverse community of people and ideas.  I will support an institution that invests heavily in pursuits pertinent to the challenges of today and helps create an atmosphere where the world's best and brightest can meet and become better for it.

We have a moment in time, right now, to continue to capitalize on the momentum that we have built for ourselves.  We have an opportunity to attain peace and move forward with one voice.

We have an opportunity to be our best once again.

We can do this.