After Donald Trump got elected, I asked a friend and coworker of mine, who also happened to be Black and a vocal supporter of Trump, if he was truly happy with the outcome.
He said of course; he was ecstatic.
He had been working with the campaign as part of an internship and had goals of moving up the political ladder it seemed. I think he believed in the values of some conservative circles, but perhaps not all the things by what he thought were the fringes.
I don't doubt that he thought that he was doing the right thing.
But still, it ate at me. I knew there was a segment of America that was becoming increasingly agitated and emboldened to perpetrate violence against minorities.
You could see and feel it.
And for the first time in my life, it felt like I was living it.
I had noticed over the past few years, myself, that anytime I'm with my black friends the police look differently at our group. I've had more interactions with the police pulling me over for having a black friend in the car more so than I have for speeding.
There had been countless stories and videos of the police abusing black military veterans, black children, women, and the elderly.
This became a rallying cry of some in the police circles, that they were under attack, rather than admit any fault in their policing or handling of respective situations.
For me, I was taking note during the end of the Obama administration, that there were a very public string of deaths where unarmed black men were deemed threats by police and were killed, creating a very public outcry.
This is also when Colin Kaepernick famously took a knee to protest these killings.
This was America in 2016.
The sentiment and rhetoric being preached by Trump then, was that anyone who would dare protest against the police using the flag were terrible people. That they were the enemy. That those that spoke out against police brutality were in the wrong.
So after the election, I had to ask the question, and had to state my feelings.
Why support someone who makes it so clearly less safe for minorities to exist at all?
I told him that I knew people, including some relatives, that wouldn't hesitate to treat him as a threat, to treat him with suspicion, and who, if he showed up alone on their doorstep on a rainy evening, would likely threaten his life.
At the time, my friend suggested that it would be no different than what has always existed. That he could take care of himself and that he could deal with it.
I replied, "That might be great for you, but one of my best friends is also Black and lives in the South. I feel like right now, his life is in more danger because of this. That his life is now in jeopardy because some extremists feel the coming of Trump is the justification for treating minorities and the people that disagree with them as subhuman."
That was roughly 3 and a half years ago.
Ahmaud Arbery's death in Georgia is the fate that I was scared of, not only for my friend,but for every minority and every ally of a minority.
That you could be picked out due to your race and become a target, by either the police or by vigilantes, and be murdered.
That you could wind up dead, and because a state and police force is so saturated with corruption and racism, there wouldn't even be an investigation until the newspapers reporting on it essentially force one.
In North Carolina, the state my best friend lives in, a white mob was led by an off duty police officer looking for vigilante justice and was so akin to a modern day lynching it's mere mention turns my stomach with disgust.
I cried yesterday for the first time during this pandemic. I cried because I realized that just because I could see Ahmaud Arbery's death coming 3 years ago, I couldn't find the right words to stop it. I couldn't convince those around me that these tragedies were going to come. I couldn't get people to see the world the way I saw it.
I cried because I can't protect my friend from the hate that still exists in America, and no matter what I say, it seems like that hate won't go away.
I typically try to write something to help inspire and make people feel good and optimistic, but today I just wanted to share how painful it has been for me to watch so many stories of black people being killed, black people being oppressed and the way that it affects me.
I guess, if there is a positive, it is only that it strengthens my resolve to advocate for policies of peace, to advocate for systemic justice and government reform.
To continue to try and speak and inspire those to speak up against injustice and inequality.
To try and inspire us all to be more kind.
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