4 Year Anniversary

As I entered the car, it became readily apparent that my best man was incredibly hung over.  He, as well as my other groomsmen had partied pretty hard at the bars we had worked at when we were younger.  Later I would find videos taken by the DJ of my best guys smashing shots and banging their heads as DJ Snake and Lil' Jon's "Turn Down For What?" blared all around.

"Dude, I'm sorry, but we gotta stop at this Minute Mart or this is not happening."

Here I was, held hostage for my own wedding, with the demands of electrolytes being the key bargaining piece.

Yet still, as the sky became more grey and the prospect of a thunderstorm occurring during our wedding became more likely, I still was calm.  I was still happy and excited.

I might be late today.  My best man might not live through the wedding. 

But I couldn't be bothered that day.

Today was my wedding day.

The ceremony was held indoors at Our Lady Of Victory, where we sheltered from the rain.  And inside, all I could think about was how special this moment was.  Where despite all the ugliness of the world, all the rain and thunder that shook outside the walls of the church; inside, there was only love and joy.

I thought about how my wife and I were kind of opposites in some ways.  She was Catholic.  I was an Atheist.  She came from a more conservative background from a smaller rural area.  I came from almost the heart of academia, with almost every family member connected to Penn State in some form or fashion.

Yet we loved each other deeply.  That for all the things that didn't seem to make sense about the world, this absolutely did.  In fact there was nothing I was more sure of in that moment.

We were surrounded in that moment with our trusted friends and family that could be there, and those that couldn't, were in our hearts.

We couldn't be hurt by the outside world.

Four years later, I'm happy that's still the case.

We are in the midst of one of the most challenging times in human history.  A pandemic.  Global political and civil unrest, and the real possibility that resources that were once plentiful, may become less so.  One could hardly be blamed for feelings of anxiety or depression.

Yet, despite all the difficulties and troubles, I'm able to find my happiness, my calm.  Because in my heart and in my home, I have my world.

I love you Allie.

Happy Anniversary. 

Love, Ben