"It's 6:30 PM, the energy is low this Friday night as I sip my Manhatten. But I'm anxious. I can't stop my leg from nervously tapping. I want to try and be social but I'm torn as most of my friends are working for the moment.
My fiance is out of town.
Most of my best friends in cities and states away.
I'm home alone in my hometown."
That was the beginning of what I was hoping to be an ambitious project to write about an evening out while it was happening. A live mobile blog, which I still might do, but obviously it being Monday and the fact that this my next post after a relatively long break.
The goal of the blog was to be a catalyst for me, a personal challenge to write creatively every single day for 40 days. It didn't have to be long. The words don't have to be correct, but I had to post.
It started out alright, a few introductory posts, and then some longer pieces on politics and sports. But then the fatigue and the repetition began to get to me. I felt like I deserved a break. I had been so good for the past few weeks I deserved some me time.
And my solo bachelor weekend began.
3:00AM Friday Morning
I had no plans for the weekend and plenty of off time. My fiance is leaving town to go visit her mother for her birthday, bringing along her aunt as a surprise. As I crawl into bed I have visions of video games, eating some good pub food and hanging out on the other side of the bar until late in the night.
9:30 AM Friday Morning
There is so much time in the day. In the feel that it's overwhelming I start by just playing a few games on the computer (Heroes Of The Storm for you nerds out there). I do a workout, I watch some television, and a movie and all of a sudden it's
5:30 PM Friday Evening
It happens just that fast. The day is gone, and while the workout was healthy, I did not produce anything of substance for my blog. Something I was trying to be consistent with. Something I am very publicly trying to make a priority. Around this time I hatch the idea for the 'live from the mobile phone' idea.
7:30 PM Friday Evening
I'm back at home. I think about going out but my time out for dinner has made me feel tired. My entire day has mostly revolved around occasional beers, food, and occasional cocktails. I had moved the living room recliner to directly in front of the television to give myself literally the best possible view. Then, inexplicably, I have an intense craving for more food. Specifically pizza.
There may be no other food I fear more than the well made pizza. The blend of cheese and red sauce, with fresh bread, the taste of pepperoni and bacon makes my mouth instantly water. Feeling no particular pressure to go out (It was THON weekend and it had been slow the previous two nights at work) I stayed in housing pizza and watching X-Files until....
11:30 PM Friday Night
I feel awful, like a puddle of pizza grease and shame. While my indulgences at the time felt great, I now feel as though the only thing I want to do is feel better by tomorrow morning.
10:30 AM Saturday Morning
I feel better but not great. I decide on a double workout today. Working out is in many ways my best medication for mental stress. Picking up my energy levels really sparks everything else including my mind. I still get in a little television and video games (now becoming my favorite past time), but I put off writing. I figure I may still be able to get my entry in later when my shift ends tonight. Besides, I figure why not just make this weekend mine. It's free of almost any obligations, other than the ones I made to myself.
6 PM Saturday Evening
The bar is busy but winding down from all indications. All of my co-workers are on the same page and delivering the effort needed to have a successful evening. Eventually as we get later in the night it becomes pretty evident that the night will not have that pop that we might typically see on a Saturday night. Eventually the idea of a possible cut is introduced to help with payroll efficiancy as well as to make everyone's time more valuable. I take the cut after another coworker declined it. I'm pretty ecstatic to get to enjoy more freedom.
What did I do with my said freedom? While tempting to possibly stay around and socialize, or possibly go out to cover THON for a possible article and keep with the idea of keeping this blog with the original values of the project, I again chose to go home, indulge and fall asleep.
Sunday 11AM
I had failed all weekend to produce an article for the blog. I tried, briefly, but it didn't work out.
I know on some level that I will be judged, and should be judged negativly for not doing the things I had set out to do. I had plenty of time and opportunity to succeed.
Today, as my Fiance was due to return from her trip, I picked up the house in an attempt to atone for the rampant indulgence and procrastination. Over the next 5 hours I clean every nook and cranny of the place, do the dishes and the laundry, knowing full well that while the work will be appreciated, it does not fulfill my actual obligation.
So then I wondered, should I give up on the project altogether? Should I put the pen down and admit defeat?
Then I watched the THON results being displayed on Facebook. The philanthropic endeaver run and organized by the students of Penn State. For the past two the students sacrificed their time that could have spent getting ahead in class or socializing or doing a great many things to help generate money to help children with cancer and the Four Diamonds fund.
They are the spirit of this town and spirit I try to emulate as often as possible. They raised over 9 million dollars and while some news articles will remind you that they fell well short of the records previously set, the lack of canning weekends were clearly seen. Yet while they may not have achieved their ultimate goal, the process for them and money they were able to bring was real.
Sometimes life will beat you. You will not attain all of your goals, no matter how noble or forthright you are. If you want to truly become great at something, you will fail along the way. Because on some level, you may have never tried everything.
So I pick up my pen again this Monday, trying to recover from my weekend of indulgence, willing and ready to push again.
That was the beginning of what I was hoping to be an ambitious project to write about an evening out while it was happening. A live mobile blog, which I still might do, but obviously it being Monday and the fact that this my next post after a relatively long break.
The goal of the blog was to be a catalyst for me, a personal challenge to write creatively every single day for 40 days. It didn't have to be long. The words don't have to be correct, but I had to post.
It started out alright, a few introductory posts, and then some longer pieces on politics and sports. But then the fatigue and the repetition began to get to me. I felt like I deserved a break. I had been so good for the past few weeks I deserved some me time.
And my solo bachelor weekend began.
3:00AM Friday Morning
I had no plans for the weekend and plenty of off time. My fiance is leaving town to go visit her mother for her birthday, bringing along her aunt as a surprise. As I crawl into bed I have visions of video games, eating some good pub food and hanging out on the other side of the bar until late in the night.
9:30 AM Friday Morning
There is so much time in the day. In the feel that it's overwhelming I start by just playing a few games on the computer (Heroes Of The Storm for you nerds out there). I do a workout, I watch some television, and a movie and all of a sudden it's
5:30 PM Friday Evening
It happens just that fast. The day is gone, and while the workout was healthy, I did not produce anything of substance for my blog. Something I was trying to be consistent with. Something I am very publicly trying to make a priority. Around this time I hatch the idea for the 'live from the mobile phone' idea.
7:30 PM Friday Evening
I'm back at home. I think about going out but my time out for dinner has made me feel tired. My entire day has mostly revolved around occasional beers, food, and occasional cocktails. I had moved the living room recliner to directly in front of the television to give myself literally the best possible view. Then, inexplicably, I have an intense craving for more food. Specifically pizza.
There may be no other food I fear more than the well made pizza. The blend of cheese and red sauce, with fresh bread, the taste of pepperoni and bacon makes my mouth instantly water. Feeling no particular pressure to go out (It was THON weekend and it had been slow the previous two nights at work) I stayed in housing pizza and watching X-Files until....
11:30 PM Friday Night
I feel awful, like a puddle of pizza grease and shame. While my indulgences at the time felt great, I now feel as though the only thing I want to do is feel better by tomorrow morning.
10:30 AM Saturday Morning
I feel better but not great. I decide on a double workout today. Working out is in many ways my best medication for mental stress. Picking up my energy levels really sparks everything else including my mind. I still get in a little television and video games (now becoming my favorite past time), but I put off writing. I figure I may still be able to get my entry in later when my shift ends tonight. Besides, I figure why not just make this weekend mine. It's free of almost any obligations, other than the ones I made to myself.
6 PM Saturday Evening
The bar is busy but winding down from all indications. All of my co-workers are on the same page and delivering the effort needed to have a successful evening. Eventually as we get later in the night it becomes pretty evident that the night will not have that pop that we might typically see on a Saturday night. Eventually the idea of a possible cut is introduced to help with payroll efficiancy as well as to make everyone's time more valuable. I take the cut after another coworker declined it. I'm pretty ecstatic to get to enjoy more freedom.
 |
| So what if my recliner is a foot away,no one is here to judge me. |
Sunday 11AM
I had failed all weekend to produce an article for the blog. I tried, briefly, but it didn't work out.
I know on some level that I will be judged, and should be judged negativly for not doing the things I had set out to do. I had plenty of time and opportunity to succeed.
Today, as my Fiance was due to return from her trip, I picked up the house in an attempt to atone for the rampant indulgence and procrastination. Over the next 5 hours I clean every nook and cranny of the place, do the dishes and the laundry, knowing full well that while the work will be appreciated, it does not fulfill my actual obligation.
So then I wondered, should I give up on the project altogether? Should I put the pen down and admit defeat?
Then I watched the THON results being displayed on Facebook. The philanthropic endeaver run and organized by the students of Penn State. For the past two the students sacrificed their time that could have spent getting ahead in class or socializing or doing a great many things to help generate money to help children with cancer and the Four Diamonds fund.
They are the spirit of this town and spirit I try to emulate as often as possible. They raised over 9 million dollars and while some news articles will remind you that they fell well short of the records previously set, the lack of canning weekends were clearly seen. Yet while they may not have achieved their ultimate goal, the process for them and money they were able to bring was real.
Sometimes life will beat you. You will not attain all of your goals, no matter how noble or forthright you are. If you want to truly become great at something, you will fail along the way. Because on some level, you may have never tried everything.
So I pick up my pen again this Monday, trying to recover from my weekend of indulgence, willing and ready to push again.
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