We Are...Family

It started perfectly on a Blue White weekend for me. 

In that moment I felt free for the first time in years.

My First "Free" Family Gathering

For the past 13 plus years, I had given everything I could to the hospitality industry after graduating from Penn State.  For those that are unfamiliar, this required the sacrifice of weekend days and nights to satisfy the demands of the industry. 

I loved it, as for the most part, I was welcomed in with incredible open arms, and found I enjoyed bringing smiles to people's faces with simple conversation and a drink or food recommendation. 

I had worked my way up from the bottom to the top.  Starting as a doorman at a bar, to being a manager at two different restaurants, it had been a fun ride for me.  I thoroughly enjoyed the great majority of my time within the industry.

I wasn't perfect, but I feel that I made a positive impact in other people that I worked with.  I wanted to make my environment the best possible place that I could, and I believe that for a long period of time, I achieved that.

However, the demands of the late night and event weekends began to become a thing that would weigh on me, and the opportunity to do something different called. 

So I left the hospitality portion of the food and service industry. 

I took a position within Penn State that I'm incredibly happy with, working for a great nutritional study program that is looking to understand the health benefits of various foods.  The work is detail attentive, with a clean and relaxed environment.  I find it enjoyable and it allows me to pursue my other passions, my writing, and time with my family.

For the first time in 13 years, my work schedule would follow a Monday through Friday schedule, with weekends and holidays guaranteed off.

13 years with almost zero weekends is a long time.

13 years of declining tailgates and games due to work is a long time.

So to me, 2019 was special.

And that's what I want to write about today.  How the story of the 2019 Penn State football season has become a metaphor for the power of family, and that the traditions and decisions we make every single day add up to what we experience later.

And for me it began in mid April, during the Blue-White game.

It was roughly 66°, and seemingly warming up as a bright sun enraptured the valley.  I was relaxing with a Champs Bloody Mary and some Middleswarth BBQ chips, taking the moment in.  I felt free.  I had no responsibilities other than to spend time with family and enjoy a football game.  Time seemed to slow to a crawl as the sun seemed to last late into the afternoon.

While attending this event, I went to get a poster signed by the lineman, tight ends, as well as the wide receiver group for a friend of mine.  While in line, I talked to the strangers around me about their experiences as Penn State fans; about what it was like for them; who they cheered for and why.  Eventually I felt obligated to share my own experience as a former walk-on and told my stories about Joe, the bowl trip, and about nearly passing out from hyper-ventilating before running out of the tunnel for the very first time in full-pads. 

As we shared our experiences, I noticed the smiles. Not only was everyone in line smiling, but I was beaming as well.  It seemed as if life outside of this moment and all the stresses that are out there in the world, stopped, just for a moment, as we came together to talk about Penn State football.

I didn't want to let it go. 

I don't think anyone did.

I tried to take that energy that I felt on that day and just keep applying it, day in and day out.

This summer, I got back into routines of running, playing softball, writing and spending time with family and friends whenever I got the opportunity.

I wanted to just continue taking advantage and living in the moment.

As the opener against Idaho approached, I was in about a positive a place as I could be in recent memory.

Due to my status as a former Letterman on the football team, I am afforded a sideline pass to all home games, an incredibly thoughtful gesture by James Franklin and the athletic department to make former players feel extremely welcome to come back home.

To then witness as complete a domination of a team as I've seen from Penn State against ANY team, was incredible.  It was a full game, from starters to 3rd and 4th strings that played with a sense of passion, urgency, and fun that made them instantly likeable. 

From there, the season would continue and generally trend up.  In fact the season got better as the team continued to win in both close games requiring grit, as well as a few games where they were able to impose their will.

After an absolutely electric "White Out" event in Beaver Stadium helped to showcase a team playing its best on a big stage against a big time team, there may not have been a better high as a fan.  To experience it on the ground level, was something I'll never forget. 

But I'll also never forget that my sister and her husband came by our tailgate.  Celebrating with friends and family on birthdays or their first games.  The delicious hot soup as the October air became cold.  Cupcakes with blue and white paw prints, the group of undergrads doing shots of fireball and inviting the alumni to join. 

Or vice versa.

The team was undefeated, talented, pretty healthy, and seemingly improving game by game. 

Then the Minnesota game happened, and I don't need to rehash my thoughts on that.

A difficult win against Indiana, a hard fought, but seemingly inevitable loss to Ohio State, a lackluster in appearance victory against Rutgers. 

Then we got the news that instead of the Rose Bowl, or a trip to Florida to play an Alabama or Auburn team, Penn State drew the card of a NY6 kick-off game in the Cotton Bowl against an automatic qualifier in Memphis, who was the highest ranked and rated team in the "Group of Five" conferences.

Family Was An Important Factor In Enjoying Cold Weather Games

It had the makings of what could be a letdown in a lose, lose scenario.  Penn State would not get the opportunity to play another Power 5 opponent, and worse, by playing a highly competitive Memphis as a favorite meant that if they didn't make a good impression, then this entire season might be seen as underwhelming and even a disappointment.

But I didn't think about that as I watched the game on December 28th.  I thought about how much joy I had watching those games with my family and friends.  How on game days it brought the Penn State community together like nothing else. 




Over Christmas break, Penn State football, and the aspect of family would take shape in no better example than during my own Christmas Day adventure.

My wife and I were staying with my in-laws in Elmira, New York and I got up and started going through the morning routine.  Breakfast, small talk, phone scrolling, etc.  Then they went ahead to go to a church service.  I elected to stay behind and keep an eye on the dog, get a work-out in, and relax in my own way.  Perhaps I would get some writing done.

The workout went fine enough, and I was feeling pretty good about everything so far.  I showered, threw on some velvety soft fleece football pajama pants and a t-shirt.  I made my way to the door to get just a moment of fresh-air, shutting the door behind me to ensure that the small golden doodle I was entrusted with didn't flee.

And after that delightful inhale of 49° Christmas air, I turned to find that the door I had just stepped out of had locked behind me.

In my haste to get outside and take a moment of reflection, I had accidentally put my barefoot, jacket-less, still slightly damp-from-a-recent-shower self in a precarious position.  I was now alone, with only my cell phone as a way to contact anyone. 

After spending a few minutes attempting to text my wife and in-laws, I finally decided that my choosing to stay locked outside while within short walking distance to a neighbors house was a bit foolish, even though I was slightly unfamiliar with who the neighbors were exactly.

I made my gamble specifically thinking that since it was Christmas, who would seriously turn away a barefooted, clearly unprepared and under dressed man on such a big holiday? So I chopped my feet quickly down the steeply sloped and slightly frozen driveway and went to the neighbor across the street.

A young girl answered the door before I could knock, as the family had seen me running down towards their house and had worried that a more severe accident might have occurred.  Now while I recognized the girl, or thought I did, I wasn't absolutely sure.  I thought her name was Sydney, and she also helped let the dog out when my in-laws were gone.  However, due to my anxious state, and being cold, and in a kind of different environment I wasn't "sure, sure" and played it off until I heard someone else say her name again. 

At any rate, after explaining my predicament, the family welcomed me in with open arms, offering me some food and beverage while I waited. I took them up on some coffee.

Now whether it was the coffee, the sugar, or the Christmas air I don't know, but for whatever reason, we all just got to talking, and one of the topics that came up due to my pajamas was Penn State football.

My New Family For 30 Minutes.

I talked about how this year meant so much to me, because I could spend it with the friends and family.  It's a mutual interest in the culture of Penn State academics and athletics that people enjoy so much, and that just talking about an incredible positive year can evoke such warm feelings. 

I talked about how much I love to write these exact kinds of stories, using sports as powerful real life metaphors for the enjoyment of life.  That sports can be used as an extension of community to build and create things that are better for everyone.

Thirty minutes or so go by and finally my wife is able to call me after getting out of church. 

She asks if I'm okay, slightly concerned, but certainly slightly laughing at my plight.  I tell her that I'm fine, and that I'm truly happy just talking to some strangers about Penn State football.  Everything was perfect.



As I write this, Penn State has just recently won their game against Memphis, and solidified a great season all the way around.  There is clearly a lot of talent on the team on both sides of the ball and the level of depth is improving at an incredible rate due to player development.

But what I want to really focus in on was the entire Penn State culture of pulling together and doing things as a group to the very best of their ability.  Even when the going got tough, I never saw a player or coach not put their best foot forward in attempting to deal with the adversity.  I saw a love and a passion for the game and for life.  I tried to express that in the way I was able to cheer and talk about sports with my friends and family.

So this new year, I think about just doing my best to do the same.  To work together and conscientiously build for next year.  After all, the season never truly stops.  Right now, athletes are working out, looking at tape, and trying to figure out how to win, and how to be the very best version of themselves.  I think we as people should do the same.

Be kind to one another.

Share a hot dog or a soda.

Share a laugh and a hug.

Share the time at football games together as something special, and enjoy the company of your fellow man.