Controlled Speech
We are on the verge of having state-controlled media and no oversight over the military. In all seriousness, we are moving toward authoritarianism in the fewest possible steps. I have no doubt that very soon, my own posts will be viewed as criminal by this administration. I believe that opposing the White Replacement Theory, and eventually some of the original texts of hate, The Elders of Zion and he Turner Diaries will be considered akin to terrorism.
I feel sorrow for the well-intentioned people who were pulled in by propaganda and identity politics, unable to resist their pull. Things will only continue to become harder economically. There will be more disease, death, corruption, crimes of despair, and violence. More relatives and friends will become radicalized and estranged. It truly sucks.
We have thrown away conservatism and libertarianism in favor of fascism. The people within the party can't be bothered to learn the intricacies of what this means, or they are simply complicit and agree with this new movement of white supremacy.
A Personal Turning Point
Every day, I try to be my best. This is something I really committed to in the wake of the Sandusky scandal. After that day, I knew I wanted to show what a person raised in State College and at Penn State could be. At the very least, I wanted to demonstrate the best values I had learned from my parents, who were raised in State College and Bellefonte.
This attitude led me to the most significant professional ascent I had experienced since earning my way onto campus and making the football team. While working at a local college bar, I made it a point to introduce my own ethos to guests and to learn their names. I made it a point to run the bar as ethically and morally as I could, even though I wasn't a manager or a real bartender at the time—I was a barback who essentially bartended.
I was eventually promoted to a dream job and environment. I became a manager and was entrusted with creating and maintaining the culture within the establishment. I was an important cog in something bigger than myself, and we set records. As soon as I was promoted, I made it a point to let other employees know the previous data for a given shift. Like most restaurants and bars, we kept detailed records of sales and events that might affect them. This allowed us to compare our performance on home game days, in hot or cold weather, during graduation, and so on. By giving my team last year's numbers, as well as the all-time high, I was constantly giving them goals, and they consistently responded.
During this time, I also found love with someone. I felt like I had always been searching for it but never understood how to express it. To find someone who connected with me, in the time that it was, felt important, magical, and lovely. Then, everything changed.
The Normalization of Everything
I thought the "Grab them by the pussy" comment would be enough to disqualify him, but instead, it led to people doubling down on their personal identity. The normalization of everything Donald Trump stood for began.
I watched as the general work environment shifted from a positive and equal environment to something lesser. All the previous problems still existed, but they were amplified. An increase in hate crimes, sexual harassment, and xenophobia all took hold. The only people who seemed to benefit were the wealthiest, who profited more with a billionaire President who wanted to rewrite all the rules for himself and his friends.
Using illegally harvested data and techniques from Cambridge Analytica, they were able to successfully mobilize not only current Republicans but also new voters who wouldn't typically have been involved. As the Bipartisan Policy Center notes, the controversy highlighted significant issues within our population that could be exploited with data privacy and political targeting.
Meanwhile, my own life became more challenging as I watched people I once considered friends embrace misogyny and racism. I watched family members defend the KKK and neo-Nazis marching in the Unite the Right rally. My heart sank each time more democratic and decency norms were trampled. Our ownership and management also changed and began making decisions I disagreed with, while ignoring requests to address certain issues. Those years were extremely difficult, as I felt we had lost a part of our country and soul.
Navigating Uncertainty
In 2019, I made some radical changes in my life, leaving my field entirely to find something new. I wanted to pursue writing, and I did for a bit, but I also discovered nutritional science and found more like-minded people to be around.
Then, COVID-19 struck the world, making movement difficult due to the real risk of death and the overwhelming of an already thin healthcare system. My job hours were reduced as the lab slowly began to start up again, and there was a need to secure new funding first. I eventually had to file for unemployment as the lab had to shut down for the time being.
Some handled the lockdown better than others. Those more likely to wear a mask and get vaccinated are more likely to be here today. At its height, the disease was killing up to 5,000 people a day in the United States, according to statistics from the COVID-19 pandemic.
However, in the end, the country had had enough. Despite the propaganda, the money used by the rich, and our own grotesque instinct to cast out others, the American people voted the madman out.
A Lingering Cancer
Then, in the wake of January 6th, when a group of people conspired to stage a coup on Congress, a flashpoint occurred. Pence, unwilling to act illegally and force a corrupt Supreme Court to rule in his favor (or risk a ruling against him), had had enough. By force, a group attempted to stop the peaceful transfer of power.
However, instead of doing the right thing and getting rid of our cancer—this malignant tumor—we let it linger. I could only be so available to the country's trials. I was dealing with grief at home, as multiple deaths and health ailments struck my family.
By the end of 2021, I was still searching and had yet to find an opportunity for a full-time job. I was becoming depressed. I wanted to get back into Penn State and the sciences. I figured, stupidly at the time, that the institutions that oversaw things like science and health would always be invested in to acquire valuable intelligence.
Then, in 2022, I felt there was real hope. I found a way to work part-time for two different labs, doing multiple things for both. Eventually, one lab thought I might be a good fit for an expanded role, and I took that opportunity to get to where I am now. Since then, everything has mostly gone backwards again, yet now, it might be even further.
The Core of the Issue
If you truly believe in free speech, you have to allow speech that is critical of people, even if that speech is heinous and said by the worst person imaginable. For example, imagine a Nazi or KKK member saying that Martin Luther King Jr. was a tool of the Jews to make white people hate themselves and propagate White Replacement Theory.
I believe that if I were to say that believing in the general White Replacement Theory—as espoused by multiple right-wing pundits—is believing in the same neo-Nazi belief as figures like George Lincoln Rockwell, Louis Beam, Timothy McVeigh, Eric Harris, Dylan Klebold, Dylann Roof, Robert Bowers, Anders Breivik, Brenton Tarrant, and Patrick Crusius—all of whom have been guilty of white supremacist violence—I would be labeled a terrorist under the law.
This is because if I identify a clear line of extremism attached to a lie and a theory that has been used to accrue power, I will be identified as an enemy of the state.
Most conservatives do not want to be called Nazis, fascists, or enablers of eugenics. I get that. However, it is undeniable now that the policies being championed are those things, based on agreed-upon definitions. After the fall of Mussolini and Hitler, there was no grand re-examination. Those who snitched on neighbors or just looked the other way as people were taken or murdered by the police and the military will simply say, "Well, that's just the way it was."
So, what can we do?
Get louder and occupy the space with as much collective power as we can muster. It is hard as hell. It means we will have to change our behavior and be less passive, which for some of us is difficult. But if you do not want to live in a country like Putin's Russia, Hitler's Germany, or Mussolini's Italy, we will need America's belief in equality to rise up as it has before.
